It’s June 14th 15th. We’re one day away from my self-imposed deadline on vastly improved weather here in Chicago. I’ve said often and to anyone who’ll listen – the second week in June is the latest I will personally accept for the summer’s arrival in Chicago.
A stupid, stupid forecast.
Don’t get me wrong, summer has visited Chicago – the trouble is, it’s acted liked it’s just stopped through on part of a road trip to somewhere much, much better. Generally, I think the weather in Chicago is totally unreasonable, and so within this bizarre system, I’ve imposed my own rules and deadlines. Summer’s arrival by no later than the second week in June – that’s one of my rules.
Because the weather hasn’t gotten its act together thus far, I want to offer it fair warning: get here by tomorrow or you can expect a very-strongly-worded-letter to arrive very shortly. I’ve got a few other tricks up my sleeve, including moving the weather app to the dock of my iPhone, just so I can keep a closer eye on just what the weather thinks it’s doing.
I'm keeping tabs on you, weather.
Beyond that, I’m considering a personal phone call to my alderman, the honorable Gene Schulter, and should none of these techniques yield the necessary results, then I will be forced to go on strike. I’m not sure what I’ll be striking from, but I’ll definitely figure something out. And the weather, I can assure you, will not be happy about it.
Weather, you’ve just been put on notice.
A few months ago our camera battery charger went missing. Ryan ordered a new one. It didn’t work. He returned it and got another new one. Sometime after we had finally gotten the situation resolved and were able to charge the battery properly, something curious happened. Through dumb luck I looked into the dark regions of our printer and saw something strange. I pulled it out and, of course, it’s the charger. I am not pointing the finger at anyone, but it’s a curious situation.
A couple of days ago I went to print something and discovered a weird, thick white line running down my document. I called Ryan in to investigate the problem. He pulled the printer apart, shook it about, and produced a pink crayon and some measuring tape. Again, very curious.
measuring tape and crayon.
Now, you and I know who did these things, but let me tell you that I suspect there might have been some doubt in Ryan’s mind. I sense this because a while back our toilet got clogged up and I took some heat for it. Ryan – being the man of the household – plunged the toilet for us. He was really getting after it too. He returned from the bathroom – sweaty – with a trashcan, asking me to look in it. I was like, “NO. Just tell me what was clogging it up. I don’t want to see it.” He emerged victorious from this back and forth by me peering into the trashcan to see a toothbrush. After a bit of laughing, he turned to me very seriously and said, “did you do that?”. The worst part is, at the time I blamed Ryder. Since then I have thought through it and it definitely could have been me. An accident to start, but then perhaps a serious lack of follow through in retrieving the toothbrush happened. I think I might have been pregnant at the time. That’s a pretty good excuse. I will tell you though, I did not put the crayon or the measuring tape in the printer. At least I don’t think I did.